Anxiety.This is a word that has plagued me for my whole life. I have always been a "what if" thinker. My brain takes possible outcomes to their most ridiculous and irrational conclusions. God has been working on this in me for a long time. What I have come to realize about myself is that the recipe for worry is equal parts mistrust and pride.
By worrying, what I am essentially saying is, "God, I don't trust the plans that you have for me. I don't trust that You have my best interest at heart." My heart is so much like the Israel of the Old Testament. Despite obvious and amazing provision and protection, they still grumbled. Parting the Red Sea wasn't enough. Sending manna from heaven wasn't amazing, it was commonplace. I have the same story. The Lankfords have been provided for in amazing ways, as many of you reading can testify. If you hear me grumbling, just remind me about a certain fall off of a roof, a $16,000 provision for adoption, boxes of formula, boxes of food, $500 from friends to help us during a tight time, $12,000 gift after Shane's fall . . . The list is much longer than this.
The pride enters in when I think I can somehow solve my problems better than God can. How ridiculous! As I looked at the lovely roses on my kitchen table, I am reminded of Matthew 6: 25-34:
25 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
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oh this is so good! I agree with what you are saying and I think we all have the tendency to be worriers or "what if" types. And it's sin. And you're right, it's not trust God and His plans for us. If we only truly knew what awaited us in heaven, we really could care less about the things that we worry or complain about.
ReplyDeleteSo, your husband fell off of a roof? That doesn't sound fun!
Thanks Beth! Shane fell off a roof while fixing a skylight for a friend at church. He fell 20 feet backwards onto their cement driveway. He broke 3 ribs, crushed the upper part of his pelvis, and fractured 2 vertebrae. Miraculously, none of the breaks were near joints, so no problems with arthritis. He was up and walking 2 days later and was healed within the month with no adverse complications. He was out of a job at the time and he was doing contracting and roofing on the side. Our family, church family, and friends provided all of our needs. My former school did a baby food/diaper drive, 2 friends brought us formula for months (Grae was on sensitive formula), my parents paid most of our bills, and the church family and our other Christian friends gave us over $12,000 to help us through the lean times. I laugh and tell Shane he should fall of a roof more often!
ReplyDeleteWendy, I remeber you worrying about having prostate cancer after reading my anatomy book in college. Amazing what it will do to you. My pastor did an awesome sermon on self image this last week and pointed out that worry can be one of the idols we worship. I never looked at it that way. I worry a lot about the health and well being of my children. After he put it that way, I really have a different perspective on it.
ReplyDelete"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phil 4:6
That cracked me up Tiny! I was such a hypochondriac in college. I remember your diagnosis of melanoma as a smudge! It can become an idol! Thanks for your insight!
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